The great grab of Kakashi!
by Kakashi'sStalker
Summary: A story about a sad little jonin with a medical condition. Its called Perviatus Maximus and it causes him to be a bigger perv than ever..To Iruka! YAOI! No flamers pleez! R&R! [oneshot]


a naruto fanfic!

**The Great Kakashi Grab**

MW:Welcome to my first ever fanfic!

Sasuke:Just shut up and enjoy it. then, maybe she'll stop talking.

MW:URUSAI SASUKE! NOBODY LUVS YOU!

sasuke:meeps.

MW:Naruto! Naruto! where is that stupid ramen-hole?

Naruto: here I be!

MW:hurry up and say the disclaimer. and wear this dress too. (holds up red sparkly dress)

Naruto: I dont wanna.

MW:too bad. Its my fic, so you hafta and you gotsa like to too+

Naruto:damn authoress logic.(slips into dress,hears random w00ts)

disclaimer:

Martianwedgie-sama doesnt own Naruto. If she did, she'd blow it somehow by now.

MW: NANI! WHAT DID YOU SAY!

Naruto: AAAHHH! TASUKETE! RUN AWAY! (trips over dress and MW beats him)

Naruto: # oww...

wheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewheewhee

(it all starts on a beautiful morning, cherry blossom season, in a cute little japanese house in the city. Kakashi's house)

"rrrgh"moaned a lump of covers on a filthy little tatami mat in a scene that didnt suit it. a tuft of messy silver hair popped out of the ragged blanket. Kakashi groaned as he lifted himself from the 'bed'. He then trudged himself toward the fridge, then opened up the freezer. he found a frozen lean cuisine dinner WAY past expiration date(even though it was frozen), a pork chop, some moldy cabbage(hold on,what?), a coupon book, a button, a block 'o' lard, a slinky, Martianwedgie's underwear(Gomen, I like to put my fantasys in my stories! tee hee!), a piece of pie and his keys to a pink diary hidden under his mat with a collection of 'Icha Icha Paradise' numbers 1 thru 34.(thats a lot of porn!) "Hey, I thought I had some velveeta in here! Oh, well, guess I have to eat out for breakfast." Kakashi said happily as he pranced out the door. He had a sneeking suspicion that he was forgetting a number of things. Then he heard a scream. He then noticed the only things he was wearing was his Hitai-ate and his mask. He was totally naked!(I knew you wouldnt see it coming! he was naked all this time and you didnt notice his huge...biceps! yeah thats it!) he blushed and ran back inside to clothe himself. He then tried to prance out again, like he had before, but he was still too embarrassed that someone had seen his perky little butt! He still thought he was missing something. He checked for clothes again, but brushed off the thought of forgettfulness, to skip his way to Ichiraku Ramen.

**_ENTER EXTREMELY SHORT FLASHBACK_**

_"Kakashi-san, I believe you have a serious condition. its called Perviatus Maximus. It causes you to be a complete pervert and try to make love to females AND males. There is no permanent cure. just these pills to help you deal with it everyday." Tsunade-sama said. she then whipped out a big bottle of extremely large pills. "You have to take these EVERYDAY!" Tsunade then laughed until she started coughing.(she is old you know!) "NOOOOOOOOO!" Kakashi screamed._

_**EXIT EXTREMELY SHORT FLASHBACK**_

(Bet you can guess what he forgot! SAY IT WITH ME,KIDS! HE FORGOT HIS MEDS!) As he was skipping to the ramen bar, he started feeling the effects of Perviatus Maximus. His Common Sense died and his hormones started raging like a adolescent teenage boys would. He felt around his vest for his favorite book, 'Icha Icha Paradise' to let off some steam by reading it, then the symptoms would subside. "Nani? my book? where did I leave my book? Oh-no! its at home! if I try to get it now, Perviatus might strike even harder! Must..find..naughty...bookstore!" Kakashi yelped as he was crawling along the ground, desperately trying to hold in his feelings about a random girl walking down the sidewalk. "GAH! must..not..grab..BUTT!" he scolded himself as a bouncy Iruka-sensei walked down the street, swaying his hips, unknowing to what Kakashi was trying to do to him. Kakashi was grabbing thin air, trying to avoid looking at Iruka-sensei's GREAT A$$!

He then felt something squishy underneath his palms. He had done it. He had squeezed the unsqueezable, thought the unthinkable, DONE THE UNDOABLE! He had Iruka's butt in his grasp. Kakashi had given up on trying to hold in his feelings. Iruka turned around quickly blushing."Uhh...Hi Kakashi-san! M-mind letting go of mya$$!" He was stumbling for words. He had always had a crush on Kakashi for his mysteriousness, but never thought Kakashi would like him back. "C-cant l-l-let go...Have t-to grab s-s-sweet m-man $$!" Kakashi was groaning raspily. He couldnt help it. His condition didnt allow it. So there they were, in the middle of the street, Iruka blushing madly as a perverted Jonin clasped himself onto the Great Squisheeness! BTW, Kakashi was now kneeling down, grabbing some $$. People started surrounding the two, some giggling, some drooling(two the drooling fangirls were me and my friend Meheeners), and some looking overall disgusted at the sight. Iruka then got a little angry with the silver haired beauty that was Kakashi. He grabbed the hand that wasnt busy with the groping of another mans $$, and pulled them into an alley. a dark alley(you all know what happens now, dont you?)

"I cant believe you just did that! In front of everyone too!" Iruka was blushing with anger. Kakashi, unable to control himself, flung his body unto Irukas. He was pawing at Iruka's shirt, trying to get inside. "W-WHAT ARE YOU D-D-DOING! YOU CANT DO THAT HERE! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY!" Iruka was screaming at Kakashi with red eyes. Kakashi couldnt control himself, and had no time to explain that to Iruka. "I cant stop help me...get me home." Kakashi whispered, panting heavily into Iruka's ear, grabbing at his shoulderblades. The Kakashi stopped and Frenched him.( I didnt know there was French Kissing there, they're in Japan!) Iruka just let it set in and didnt fight back. He fell limply in Kakashi's strong arms.Then after they stopped kissing and were deprived of oxygen, Iruka said, "Alright, I'll get you home. On one condition. You have to stop groping me in public, and start groping me in private." He then gave a sly smile. Kakashi whispered,"deal." and then Iruka flung a perverted Jonin over his back and prayed he wouldnt start groping him on the trip home. To his dismay, during the whole trip, Kakashi was groping and kissing him and making him lose his balance as he ran/jumped throughout the trees at the edge of the city. Kakashi lived in the small very nearby city. He was moaning that he couldnt take it anymore. "I need to get home NOW!" Kakashi whimpered. "we're almost there.. just stay calm." Iruka said assuredly. Upon reaching Kakashi's house, Kakashi was already trying to take Iruka's pants off.(Just for Meheeners out there,w00t!) He had almost suceeded too. If he had just one one more second...well you get the picture. Kakashi was trying to inch his way into Irukas undies,(Oh yeah, Iruka's undies)when he said, "Meds.. I need the large pills in my cabinet and my porn...all of it." Kakashi was pouting in pain.(Perviatus was painful,too!) "OK, I think I can get that!" Iruka said. By the time he was done grabbing materials, Kakashi was taking off his boxers, moaning and writhing on the couch. "HURRY!" He screamed. Iruka gave him the stuff and stood back. he tore off the bottle cap and swallowed all the pills, all of them and was reading 'Icha Icha Paradise' as quick as he could. After a least 45 minutes of screaming, yelping moaning and whimpering, we see Iruka in fetal position in the corner with his eyes covered. "How could he do that to himself?" Iruka said, over and over again, he was traumatized by having to see some of what kakashi was doing to himself. "Lots of practice in my teens. you can get up now. Its over." Kakashi said calmly, getting to his feet, still zipping up his pants. Iruka got up and saw the scene. Surprisingly, there was no mess at all, it was perfectly clean all around the living room. "sorry you had to see that, usually I only have to do that ONCE a week, but I gues-" Kakashi was then interrupted by Iruka smothering his lips with kakashi's own. "You havent forgotten our deal yet, have you, Uke?" Iruka said with a suggestive look on his face. "I havent, but I just got my pants ON!" Kakashi pouted as Iruka undid the zipper. "Oh well, guess one more go cant hurt me...Seme." Kakashi sighed teasingly.

"you know your sexy, right Iruka?" Kakashi said huskily.

"Yeah."

"Good."

What do you think? is it good? bad? Its my first time, so be gentle.(EEwW! I put nasty thoughts into my own mind!)I MEANT WITH THE REVIEWS! jeesh!

Naruto:It traumatized me.

Sasuke: I dont know, I kinda liked it.

Naruto: Sick Bastard+

Sasuke: Im gonna kill you, Dobe!" (kicks Naruto's ass)

Naruto: oww..c'mon guys! lighten up!

Oh,well. R&R please!


End file.
